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Domestic violence is not just a private issue—it’s a global crisis affecting millions of individuals, families, and communities every year. It can take many forms: physical harm, emotional abuse, financial control, coercion, or psychological intimidation. Behind closed doors, countless victims suffer in silence, often feeling trapped, ashamed, or fearful for their safety.

Domestic violence not only occurs in low socio economic families it can be from any cultural background rich or poor.  Victims from some cultures still do not report the violence due to their fear and belief systems.  Most victims live in fear of retribution or retaliation.

The Cycle of Abuse

The Cycle of Abuse often follows a repeat cycle within the relationship as well as the cycle of generational abuse.  It can be from tension, and no emotional intelligence to be able to self control the negative emotions such as anger, resentment, frustration and control.  The abuser may apologise, however without intervention or change it will continue and often become more severe or even death.

Victims Stay at times due to the Shame, fear, low self esteem and self worth, financial abuse where the abuser doesn’t give the person money, the abusers are quite emotionally abusive and very manipulating causing existing low self esteem and self worth becomes more extreme.  Other reasons they may stay are due to social stigma and lack of support.

Why Victims Stay

Leaving an abusive relationship is incredibly challenging, but it is possible with the right support. This may include: Hotlines and crisis centers, Shelters that provide safety and resource, Counselling and therapy for recovery and empowerment, Legal support to protect victims’ rights.

However at times these resources are very limited or non existent in some cultures.

You Can Help by notifying the authorities If you suspect someone is experiencing domestic violence. Listen without judgment, Many people wonder why victims don’t “just leave.” The truth is complex Fear of further violence or harm to themselves and their children, Financial dependence on the abuser.

Emotional manipulation and loss of self-worth.

Social stigma and lack of support systems but respect their decisions, Share resources like local helplines and shelters, Stand against abuse by raising awareness in your community.

Domestic violence thrives in silence. By speaking up, supporting survivors, and promoting education, we can break the cycle and build a world where safety and respect are the norm—not the exception.

If you or someone you know is in danger, contact your local domestic violence helpline immediately.

Psychiatrists divide anxiety into three main types: general anxiety, phobias and panic disorder. If there’s a particularly difficult situation at work or at home, the stress that this creates can spill over into other areas of life – and create anxiety.
Similarly, a person who’s experienced a very frightening situation may also carry the fear over to their everyday life. This is known as post-traumatic stress disorder. Though it’s little comfort to the person experiencing it, they can at least identify the cause of the emotions they’re experiencing.

In general, anxiety’s emotional turmoil appears to have a life of its own. Some psychiatrists call this ‘free-floating anxiety’.
Unlike phobia and panic, with general anxiety it’s not always clear to the anxious person exactly what it is they feel so anxious about. They’re just aware of feeling anxious all the time.

When there’s no identifiable cause, the person often becomes anxious about feeling anxious all the time, and the problem starts to feed off itself.

People with generalized anxiety may find that they:

• easily lose their patience
• have difficulty concentrating
• think constantly about the worst outcome
• have difficulty sleeping
• become depressed and/or
• become preoccupied with, or obsessional about, one subject

These mental symptoms lead to, and are supported by, physical symptoms. These can include:

• excessive thirst
• stomach upsets
• passing wind
• loose bowel movements
• frequent urinating
• failure to respond to sexual stimulation
• periods of intense pounding heart
• periods of feeling winded
• muscle aches
• headaches
• dizziness
• pins and needles
• tremors
• painful or no periods

The relationship of physical and mental symptoms can create a vicious cycle that can be triggered by a symptom at any point.
In panic, the cycle develops quickly to a crisis. With generalised anxiety, people often manage to keep things under control and the cycle grumbles on. The effort of keeping things under control is itself very stressful – and so adds fuel to the problem.
This is how some people come to feel anxious about their anxiety, making the problem even more intense.

How likely am I to have this?
Most people feel anxious at some time in their lives; however, about five per cent of people experience severe anxiety but rarely seek professional help.

How can I help myself?
The first step is to understand how anxiety works. Anxiety is a mixture of physical and mental symptoms. They are part of what psychologists call the ‘fight or flight’ response. When the body is under threat it automatically prepares either to defend itself or run.

Relaxation
To manage your anxiety you must first break the cycle. One way of doing this is to reduce the severity of physical symptoms by practising relaxation techniques.
There are two types of relaxation exercise: guided fantasy and muscle tension. It’s best to try them both to find out which one suits you best.
Relaxation isn’t an immediate fix for the problem. It’s a skill that must be learned and (like all skills) is only acquired through practice.

Exercise
Another strategy for breaking the physical symptoms of the vicious cycle is taking aerobic exercise. This is exercise that’s low impact – not involving carrying heavy weights or sudden exertion – and acts mainly on the heart. Any gentle physical activity that leaves the heart slightly racing will help.
By effectively giving the heart exercise it will, like any other muscle, become stronger. A stronger heart will be less prone to the kind of pounding that can make the physical symptoms so unpleasant.
Exercise will also help to release some of the tension that builds up and can fuel the anxiety.

Diet
Caffeine is present in many soft drinks, not just tea and coffee. Try to cut out caffeine as much as possible, since it can set up its own vicious cycle. It can speed up the heart rate and make you pass more urine – both signs of general anxiety. It can also disrupt your sleep, another sign of anxiety. If you’re tired you’ll be less in control of your emotions and more likely to feel anxious. Trying to overcome tiredness by drinking more caffeine only makes the long-term problem worse.
Similarly, too much alcohol or nicotine can worsen the symptoms of anxiety, and disrupt sleep.

Say “no”
This can be the very best therapy. It’s simply too easy to take on too much. You can find yourself in a situation where you have too many demands on your time. Often, no one thing is causing you anxiety, but as you try to fit more and more into your life you can become slightly anxious about each task.
This anxiety can build up, bringing you to breaking point. It’s as bad to feel a little anxious about a lot of things as it is to feel very anxious about one big thing.

At Tranquility Counselling Services QLD, I service most Gold Coast suburbs and areas. Whether you require Counselling, Hypnotherapy, Psychotherapy, Life Coaching or Reiki we guarantee the best quality service to be punctual and efficient. I work from home and the environment is very relaxed and overlooking the water which assists you to feel peace and serenity. I keep my skills and knowledge up to date to offer the best possible service to my clients. I am a holistic counsellor and eclectic, so I am able to work in a number of different areas ranging from Mental Health Issues to Stress and Anxiety, support for changing your career path and changing behaviors such as QUIT Smoking, Substance Abuse and Anger Management.

Areas we service at Tranquility Counselling Services include:

Gold Coast, down to South of the Border, Tweed Heads, Murwillimbah, Mudgeraba and Tallai, and north including Pimpama, Tamborine Mountain, Upper Coomera, Nerang, Maudsland Coomera and other surrounding areas of the list above.

Interstate via Skype Sessions, and Overseas via Skype Sessions

The Power of Positive Thinking

Anxiety Gold Coast: One way of tackling panic attacks is to look at the way you talk to yourself, especially during times of stress and pressure. Panic attacks often begin or escalate when you tell yourself scary things, like “I feel light-headed . . . I’m about to faint!” or “I’m trapped in this traffic jam and something terrible is going to happen!” or “If I go outside, I’ll freak out.” These are called “negative predictions” and they have a strong influence on the way your body feels. If you’re mentally predicting a disaster, your body’s alarm response goes off and the “fight-flight response” kicks in.

To combat this, try to focus on calming, positive thoughts, like “I’m learning to deal with panicky feelings and I know that people overcome panic all the time” or “This will pass quickly, and I can help myself by concentrating on my breathing and imagining a relaxing place” or “These feelings are uncomfortable, but they won’t last forever.”

Sometimes it’s helpful to remind yourself of these FACTS about panic attacks:

• A panic attack cannot cause heart failure or a heart attack.
• A panic attack cannot cause you to stop breathing.
• A panic attack cannot cause you to faint.
• A panic attack cannot cause you to “go crazy.”
• A panic attack cannot cause you to lose control of yourself.

If it’s too hard for you to think calming thoughts or to concentrate on relaxation strategies when you’re having a panic attack, find ways to distract yourself from the negative thoughts and feelings.

Some people do this by talking to other people when they feel the panic coming on. Others prefer to exercise or work on a detailed project or hobby.  Changing scenery can sometimes be helpful, too, but it’s important not to get into a pattern of avoiding necessary daily tasks. If you notice that you’re regularly avoiding things like driving, going shopping, going to work, or taking public transport, it’s probably time to get some professional help.

Put a stop to the thoughts that lead to anxiety, and to replace those thoughts with realistic, rational thoughts. Then, when these self-statements are practiced and learned, your brain takes over automatically. This is a form of conditioning, meaning that your brain chemistry (neurotransmission) actually changes as a result of your new thinking habits. This is the foundation of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy.

First, use thought stoppage. Be gentle but firm about it.

“STOP! These thoughts are not good for me. They are not healthy or helpful thoughts, and I have decided to move in a better direction and learn to think differently.”

(You are reminding and reinforcing your brain each and every time you make this rational and realistic statement.)

Then, pick two or three statements from the list below that seem to help you, and repeat them to yourself OUT LOUD each day. (You don’t have to believe them fully yet – that will happen later).

  When Anxiety is Near: General Statements

• I’m going to be all right. My feelings are not always rational. I’m just going to relax, calm down, and everything will be all right.
• Anxiety is not dangerous — it’s just uncomfortable. I am fine; I’ll just continue with what I’m doing or find something more active to do.
• Right now I have some feelings I don’t like. They are really just phantoms, however, because they are disappearing. I will be fine.
• Right now I have feelings I don’t like. They will be over with soon and I’ll be fine. For now, I am going to focus on doing something else around me.
• That picture (image) in my head is not a healthy or rational picture. Instead, I’m going to focus on something healthy like _________________________.
• I’ve stopped my negative thoughts before and I’m going to do it again now. I am becoming better and better at deflecting these automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) and that makes me happy.
• So I feel a little anxiety now, SO WHAT? It’s not like it’s the first time. I am going to take some nice deep breaths and keep on going. This will help me continue to get better.”

Statements to use when Preparing for a Stressful Situation   

• I’ve done this before so I know I can do it again
• When this is over, I’ll be glad that I did it.
• The feeling I have about this trip doesn’t make much sense. This anxiety is like a mirage in the desert. I’ll just continue to “walk” forward until I pass right through it.
• This may seem hard now, but it will become easier and easier over time.
• I think I have more control over these thoughts and feelings than I once imagined. I am very gently going to turn away from my old feelings and move in a new, better direction.

Statements to use when I feel overwhelmed 

• I can be anxious and still focus on the task at hand. As I focus on the task, my anxiety will go down.
• Anxiety is a old habit pattern that my body responds to. I am going to calmly and nicely change this old habit. I feel a little bit of peace, despite my anxiety, and this peace is going to grow and grow. As my peace and security grow, then anxiety and panic will have to shrink.
• At first, my anxiety was powerful and scary, but as time goes by it doesn’t have the hold on me that I once thought it had. I am moving forward gently and nicely all the time.
• I don’t need to fight my feelings. I realize that these feelings won’t be allowed to stay around very much longer. I just accept my new feelings of peace, contentment, security, and confidence.
• All these things that are happening to me seem overwhelming. But I’ve caught myself this time and I refuse to focus on these things. Instead, I’m going to talk slowly to myself, focus away from my problem, and continue with what I have to do. In this way, my anxiety will have to shrink away and disappear.

For more information or need help to get rid off from stress or pressure you can CALL US TODAY!!

Trauma can be defined by sexual assault/rape, war, natural disasters, child abuse, accidents, exploitation and betrayal, life-threatening illness, loss of a partner or child and any other traumatic events.

When a person is faced by a trauma and is crippled by overwhelming and debilitating life-events, their whole self and reality are questioned. Trauma forces us to reconsider our lives, experiences, self and relationships, on a physical, mental and spiritual way.

Trauma causes us to engage in disruptive or self-destructive coping strategies such as depression, panic attacks, addictions, illness and lack of control. Trauma can violate our ideas about the world and of human rights and can leave us questioning our conceptions of reality, structures of identity, interpersonal relationships. We can often think that broken worlds only happen in our world.

Unless a person has worked through a similar life event they are unable to understand the effect of a traumatized individual.   Gold Coast Counselling uses Hypnotherapy to revisit and confront the trauma and reframe it in a more positive way to enable you to move on with your life by taking back the control that you lost.  Using age regression during hypnosis allows the traumatized individual to embrace their life experiences, loss and fears and their brokenness in a very safe, secure way whilst feeling very supported.

Accepting that we are vulnerable and surrendering to our assumptions about life allows us to develop a new sense of reality. Recovery and restoration can only happen when we are ready to let go of our point of fact about the world, in so doing, we are able to continue our journey without living in constant fear.

As a therapist I see many patients who have suffered some type of trauma, they are crippled with emotional and physical pain.  They are in pieces, disconnected from familiar frames of reference and disconnected from reality.  Making the first step is the hardest and having faith through that they can move past their suffering is the hardest part.   Make the choice today to rid yourself of the pain and suffering you have endured for way too long.  Have faith in yourself that you can change and reframe you mind to live a happier, healthier life.

Finding my inner peace meant I needed to go deep within my soul and find my true meaning of life and what I needed not what others thought I needed.  To say my life has been blessed was something I struggled with for many many years.

 Coming from a dysfunctional family and being abandoned at the age of ten years old by both parents was where all the fears, trials, and tribulations started.  However, after enduring years of uncertainty, self-destruction, anger, frustration and resentment, I became the person I am today.

 A professional woman working in my own private practice supporting others to become the best version of themselves.  My journey of life gave me the lessons, to find the tools and resilience I needed to follow my dream of becoming a therapist and support others.  

My goal was to work with young women who were lost in the world of grief, trauma, and instability.  I achieved that goal after many years of struggle working on my own self-image.  I never felt worthy of being loved or treated with respect.  Why would I, my parents left me so why would anyone else give me the love and support I needed?  Then I found my peaceful place which was just being.

No matter where I was I needed to just be and embrace what I had.  Sitting by the beach, in a park, or just going for a drive in the mountains have me the peace and harmony I needed to focus on just me.  I suffered from anxiety and panic all my life up until two years ago and suffer no more from this debilitating illness.  I found that I needed to love myself first so that I could feel safe and secure, which then allowed me to be able to trust others.

Those issues won’t go away unless you are willing to make a conscious choice that you are ready to allow the true healing in your life and become responsible for yourself.

Many people live with the effects of trauma as they can’t bring themselves to re-visit their trauma and discuss it.  Using Hypnotherapy to remove the negative emotional attachment to the Trauma.

It leaves you feeling peace and tranquility instead of experiencing hyper-vigilance every day a d being trapped in your mind and living in fear.

Trauma can be so debilitating and many people can barely function in a positive or healthy way.  I have introduced to Hypnosis ten years ago and it changed my life dramatically.

I now have my own counselling practice and am about to embark on the most exciting journey of writing my own book on Trauma and how one can overcome the fears and take back control of your own life.

My biggest strategy is delay. I let a totally urgent impulse (usually a purchase) wait for a few days, up to a few months. If it’s really important, the “need” will still be there.

I turn an imaginary key in my pocket to “lock” my mouth when I want to say something impulsively.

I start each day with a five-minute mindfulness session, and I set a daily intention, which I focus on throughout the day. For instance: “Today I will notice my emotions and urges before acting on them.” I also set a reminder to do this, to keep me focused on it.

To curb impulsive shopping, I ask myself: Do I really need it? Do I absolutely love it? Do I know exactly where it will live at home?

If I want to make an impulsive clothes purchase, I have rules: It has to fit me perfectly, look great on me, and I have to have a place in mind to wear it. If I answer no to any of these questions, I don’t buy it.

My impulse buys have been greatly reduced by using my smartphone camera! I take a picture of anything that looks awesome that I want. Later on, I look at the picture or show it to my husband, and decide if I still want it.

I mentally erase the faces of people that I have an urge to say something personal to. This helps me address the problem, not the person.

What Is Anxious Preoccupied Attachment?

Anxious preoccupied attachment is an attachment style in which a person experiences anxiety in their relationships with significant others in their lives. It stems from attachment theory which argues that childhood experiences can affect our relationships later in life.
Attachment Theory

Attachment Theory, the underlying premise behind attachment anxiety, was a model proposed by British psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s.

Bowlby believed that experiences during infancy and the quality of care given by your primary caregivers can influence your attachment style as an adult.

Continued research in the area went on to define four primary attachment styles in children and how these can be influenced by the behavior of parents or caregivers at a young age:

Secure – when a child is confident that their caregivers can meet their needs
Anxious-Ambivalent – when children are used to caregivers who are inconsistent so seek reassurance and exaggerate distress to elicit a caring response
Avoident – when children perceive their caregiver as indifferent and insensitive so avoid showing distress
Disorganised – when children are used to receiving inconsistent emotional support and often abuse so both crave attention but also show fear towards their caregiver, often associated with childhood trauma